It’s 7:40AM, and I’ve been up for around two hours now, reading stuff for class later. All I had for breakfast was a pack of kitkat and water. My first class is at 10AM, but I only have half of the assigned readings for theory class today so I’m leaving an hour early to go and look for the missing stuff. I have a Japanese quiz that I’ve only half-studied for, and I only have one of the three books we’re discussing in Soc Sci II later.

Basically, today is going to be horrible.

Plus, tonight I have another Japanese quiz on short forms to study for (T_T) and two articles to read. At least I don’t have to run around like a headless chicken looking for them.

Anonymous asked: Hello! I saw that you were a Comparative Literature student, and as life has it, I'm a high school junior who's interested in majoring in Comp. Lit. for college. What is some good stuff to do now to prepare for Comp. Lit.? And plus, what's your favorite thing about your major? Sorry if this sounds like an interview; I just wanted to see some different perspectives. Thank you!

Hmmm, I don’t really remember doing any preparations for CL (but then again I didn’t really do anything in high school D:), but after studying it for a year and a half I guess the best thing you can do now is really just read up. Read everything you can, as many forms of literature as possible, so by the time you start studying CL you’re well-versed in everything. CL has a lot of cross-referencing and context, so reading a lot will definitely help. Learning a second (or third) language will also really help you, preferably something like a Romance language or Chinese, because it’ll be easier to learn other major languages in the future. I’d recommend starting on basic literary theory as well, since my high school taught it and it helps a lot now, but they’ll teach you that stuff eventually so it’s not that important as of now. 

I’ve always liked reading, and later writing about what I read, so I guess my favorite part of CL is the writing. I’m also planning to go into writing after college, so I really enjoy the analysis and criticism part of CL. :D If you asked me during my first year, I’d also say learning languages is fun, but now that I’m getting to the more advanced stuff, well, let’s just say things have been less than a walk in the park. T_T Not that it should discourage you though! ^_^

I hope I made things clearer for you. ;D

Earlier today, out of the blue, my mom said for the nth time that I’d “do well” working for a fashion magazine. And I guess it got me thinking of what I really want to do.

In the past I’d say that I have a really clear plan of what I want to do after college, I want to do this, I want to do that, then I want to end up here. The more I think about it though, the more it seems like I just want to do 23897423985 trillion things because I enjoy them and because they seem interesting.

There’s no question that I do want to end up writing for a living — that’s been set in stone years before college — but writing what?

My plan before was that after college, which I see as basically just a stepping stone to what I really want to do, I’d try and get an internship at a local record label. I want to see the industry from the eyes of a practitioner, and not just this little girl the producer brought to recording sessions. Then, once I got into K-Pop, I wanted to go intern at a major talent agency too, because the Korean industry is both foreign and interesting.

What happens after that was a blur, but what I knew was what I wanted to end up writing for Billboard. Or the editor-in-chief. (;D)

Writing it all down now has made me realize that the plan I thought was solid, is pretty non-existent. So I started to think about what to put in between interning and clamoring for an EIC position.

What I’m sure of though is that I’m never going to become a professor. Not because I look down on the profession — if anything it’s a noble and extremely rewarding one that I would never, ever, dare insult. It’s a profession that allowed my parents to not only send me to a good school and give me a nice life, but also teach me so many things, so many ideas, that I would’ve never learned otherwise. But it’s not for me. I don’t enjoy speaking to big groups of people on a daily basis, I’m not smart, and I’m more lazy than I am industrious.

Fashion magazines have always had a soft spot for me, because they made up majority of my childhood. Throughout grade school my room was filled with issues of Meg and Candy, and I still remember the very first magazine I bought in 2001 — The March issue of Pink. I begged my mom to buy it for me at this tiny book store in Philcoa (back when it was slightly less dungeon-y) because the blue cover looked cute. I like shopping for clothes, I like shopping for clothes for other people, I know make-up inside out, I like writing, and I’m not half bad at layout.

But I guess the problem with wanting to work for a fashion magazine is that I haven’t actually tried it yet. Unlike music writing, which, you know, I’ve been doing for almost five years now, I don’t have a grasp on how things work on the inside. What if it’s not what I thought it would be? I hate that uncertainty, to be honest.

So another option I’ve been playing around with just today was taking a master’s in music production or the music industry from somewhere like Berklee. I realize that the biggest reason why I’ve never liked school itself (apart from the fact that I spend 80% of my time there) is because I don’t genuinely love what I’m studying. Don’t get me wrong, I like literature and I’ve met amazing people and friends in college, but lit has always been work for me. Of course lit was my first choice, and I really did want it, but I wanted it within what I could have. 

What I really wanted was to study record production. Not broad comm, not music, straight record production, record engineering even, or that music industry course at Berklee. Basically I wanted, and still want, to study at Berklee. But I neither have the finances, nor am I any good at playing any instrument.

So I was thinking maybe while I try the impossible and look for a job at Billboard, I can take a master’s at Berklee. The downside to that though is that yeah sure a master’s degree will give me framework and valuable information, but I’ve learned early on that experience matters just as much. In what I want at least. A master’s degree is important for scholars, and for people who want to pursue things like research, etc., but not really for writing about music. If Billboard doesn’t require a master’s, I’m better off learning about the industry by actually immersing myself in it.

Writing things down has helped me sort things out (as always), but that blurry space is now filled with several big decisions I have to make, whether now or in the near or distant future.

I know, I know, I haven’t been around at all this semester, but things were either ridiculously crazy or extremely uneventful, neither of which make for decent blog posts. That’s not to say that this sem wasn’t uneventful though, which is why once that last paper on Philippine Literature is done (it’s due tomorrow and I’m only halfway done with it T_T) I’ll have a nice sparkly post out to summarize.

That said, I survived 2 MSTs, 2 SSPs, 2 majors and PE! Or at least I’m in once piece. Whichever’s better.

It’s now officially crunch time, and believe me, two years have passed since I was in your place, but I haven’t forgotten that feeling. The never-ending nerves, being surrounded by people talking about it left and right, and that little spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, I might pass. :D

I’m sure other people have said so many other things, they’ve given you all study and preparation tips, so this year I’m going to skip that and go straight to what I think is the one most important tip I can give you guys.

When you take the UPCAT, in addition to having a brain full of equations, facts and vocabulary, you also have to “tune” it, and you have to use all that information to your advantage. By having a certain mindset.

From now, until those four hours you spend taking what is possibly the most important exam of your life, you have to remember that this is a competition — one you have to win to pass.

Remember how people around you tell you that you should only compete with yourself? Just for the UPCAT, forget that. Forget it and think the complete opposite — everyone else is your enemy. Because it’s true.

I might be making you even more nervous now, but believe me, this is something you have to remember while you take the test, because it will be extremely easy to just kick back and relax once you find out how simple the questions are. Don’t. Never let your guard down, because there will always be someone with their guard on turbo.

The UPCAT isn’t about meeting a passing score alone, it’s about getting the highest score you can possibly get and seeing how you fare in comparison to everyone else who took the exam. It’s about being better than everyone else. You have to be better than over 70,000 other high school students, and to do that you really need to bring it, bring it all.

Do all your rituals, hoard pencils and chocolate and whatever else makes you feel at ease, and be prepared for a battle. I’ll see you in Diliman in 2013! ;D